My teacher asked our class to write a narrative essay in relation to a one-word essay- Marriage. This is an epic essay.
“He loves me…he loves me not…he loves me…he loves me not…” as she continued plucking the sunflower petals.
“Wow, this is tiring!” she complained at the 5, 038th petal.
“A rafflesia would have been easier.”
She continued plucking…
“Oh man, I’ve just wasted my money to buy this stupid sunflower! He’s not worth this! Damn him! Damn me!” she paused and thought for a while and said, “opps.”
“Mummy, what are you doing?” Little susy came into the fireplace where i was squatting in.
“Burning” she replied, since she was squatting in the fireplace.
“Cool!” Susy exclaimed, then added, “or should i say hot!”
“you know, there’s always someing about you…”she thought for a moment and continued,” let me tell yo a little story.”
“take a seat and i’ll tell you.” i said, directing susy to the couch.
“But i like the fireplace!” Susy argued haughtily.
“Don’t make me pull out my gun!” i threatened and sh stared defiantly at me, giving up in the end and went to the couch.
“Hmph, sucker!” she mumbled. I fired a shot in between her legs.
“as i was saying, every girl’s ream is to find a perfec life partner, regardless male or female, and drain him or her of their money. Well, it just so happens that during high school, came acoss this rich kid. I was bimbo at that time, though i’m not sure what that means, but thats not the point. Our eyes met for the 1st time that time. That was when all hel broke lose. He was just a wannabe. In fact, he was only a janitor in the school. i was dumb; at that time, i believed that love was blind. i didnt care about his status in society, what mattered most was that our brain matched. our eyes locked ”
“what happened then?” susy interrupted.
“well, he finally propsed to me after 18 years. there were so many interruptions.”
“what interruptions?” she interrupted again.
“stop eff-ing interrupt me and i’ll tell you! Gosh!” i exclaimed in exasperation.
“dont make me shoot you again, my gun’s already pulled out. as i was saying, he had many hidden identities. he disguised as a pig once, i even…let’s not talk about that. i remembered that 51st time he proposed, it was in a cave. he wanted to become superman; or he was desperate. so i accepted since he blocked the only way out of the cave with rubbles of rocks and boulders.
“how did you get out?” she interruped yet again.
“That’s it! i’m eff-ing gonna shoot you. but let me give you a brief introduction of you. you are the product of a accident. we never wanted you. because of your stubborn nature of a perm to squeeze into my egg, our lives are pretty screwed up. i’ll give you your last few words. YOU ARE THE BIGGEST REGRET IN MY WHOLE LIFE! GO TO HELL!”
Bang.
Bang Bang.
Bang.
Banggggggggggggggggggg.
Squirt. o.o?
click click click.
“oh damn, no bullets. im not finished yet!” i yelled as i grabbed little susy and threw her out of the window.
“now im gonna fin him…If i can…”
She went to her kitchen, took ot a knife…and a loaf of bread. She made herself a sandvich, and revocered 30hp. she holstered her minigun and left for work.
